Booooo FranFrancisco, Booooo Internet

I got everybody all hot n' bothered for a broken MediaFire link. As Pat said to me earlier today, Ms. Gore is still a national treasure, and well protected from internet pirates like me.

Dropbox. Boom. Get it. If this doesn't work, let me know and I'll post a video of myself crying and throwing up on my shoes.

Thanks folks.

I Know Why Lesley Gore Cries

"Hi - Thanks to you and my many wonderful friends for making my first record a hit!

Love, Lesley Gore"

- From the original "It's My Party" 7" sleeve, Mercury Records 72119

I've been thinking about Lesley Gore. I became accidentally high before a recent radio show and it was no fun at all. It was a Saturday night and our College U. basketball corps was playing its rival in a home game. What I thought would be a Zen three hours in the radio station turned out to be a horrible sea of minute responsibilities. Responsibilities which a sober person would, of course, handle and be able to somehow think through, and even enjoy fulfilling. It was overwhelming: the microphone; turntables (2); their needles and styli; the CD players (3!); the faders on the control board; their cue lights, the flowsheet; the public service announcements (too long); the VU meters (indecisive!); the hour breakpoints; the operator's log... I almost drowned. After a few hours I let the long tracks spin, and just kinda started at the back of "The Golden Hits of Lesley Gore" album sleeve.

At least three of Lesley's golden hits are about crying. At least. Asserting the right to cry in "It's My Party," demanding to be allowed to exercise the right to cry ("Just Let Me Cry"), universalizing the right to cry ("Judy's Turn To Cry"). The songs are atrocious:

"Judy and Johnny just walked through the door,

Like a queen with her king.

Oh what a birthday surprise,

Judy's wearin' his ring.

[Refrain]

You would cry too if it happened to you."

What offal. Top of the U.S. charts in 1963. Savored millions of times by millions of Teenage-Americans over root beer floats, in soda institutions across the nation, as they attempted to relativize their values to those of Ms. Gore's narrator. Yet the more I looked at the photographs on the back of the sleeve - Lesley looking apprehensively at a young Dick Clark on the set of American Bandstand, Lesley spoon-feeding a poodle - the less convinced I was that this music represented Lesley Gore. Who was this reluctant-looking starlet? Born to a Jewish family in Teaneck, NJ, the Lesley Gore of the "Golden Hits" album cover appeared positively Iowan in her cornflower blue-checkered shirt, hip-hugging blue jeans, and Stormtrooper perm. Who are the blonde celebrities at Lesley's side on the back cover? I do not recognize their names. Their smiling bodies tower over her.

I grew deeply unsettled. The more I listened to "It's My Party" (I played it five times on my show), the more the final line of the refrain began to sound like a candy-coated cry for help, like a prisoner of a certain war blinking the testimony of her torture across the airwaves in a macabre Morse code.

Why is Lesley Gore crying? We will find no definitive answer in the lyrics of her song. "It's My Party" was written in 1962 by three male employees of the Aaron Schroeder Music Firm. This is no ordinary teenage suffering. Gore's youth was little more than grist for the mill of an infernal entertainment industry. Was she crying because she was forced to watch her youth's attendant passions and sufferings be spun into an emotionally pornographic male fantasy, and be broadcast to the world in her own voice, all in the pursuit of a passively-received conception of success? We are drawing nearer to the mark, but still we miss it by miles.

I can only offer my best answer obliquely, by means of an anecdote. It so happened that while I was walking to campus from my apartment, maybe a week or so after my radio show, walking with the arboretum on my right, with the winter sunlight strobing through branches, I turned to my left, and my gaze landed upon the driver of a white Prius at the exact moment that her face scrunched up in a silent burst of tears. I had one thought, and it gamboled through my mind to the tune of a well known song: "you would cry too if it happened to you." Do you now know?

Enjoy!

Mix 4 (clicky)

- "It's My Party" - Lesley Gore, The Golden Hits of Lesley Gore, MERCURY RECORDS (1965)

- "Leslie" - Gross Ghost, Brer Rabbit, GRIP TAPES (2012)

- "The Minotaur's Song" - The Incredible String Band, The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter, ELEKTRA (1968)

- "Sheba's Return / Lion of Judah" - C.O.B., Moyshe McStiff and the Tartan Lancers of the Sacred Heart, POLYDOR (1972)

- "Thief" - Can, Delay 1968, SPOON RECORDS (1981)

- Sun Ra speaks, from the ESP Sun Ra Radio Tribute, compiled and presented by former Arkestra member and official Sun Ra archivist Michael D. Anderson, "The Good Doctor." Fourteen hours in six parts.

-  "Krausend" - Bitchin Bajas, Krausend 12", PERMANENT RECORDS (2013)

*Note: This mix would have been posted this past weekend, but I was trying to figure out a way to upload more hours of music to SoundCloud without having to pay 9 Pounds Sterling. And by "figure out," I mean I was sitting in my chair being angry. Also, I was doing some thinking.

** Post-Note: Grumpy @ SoundCloud, please enjoy the MediaFire link. All mixes up on MediaFire by this Friday, along with a new mix this weekend.

HumBucking Harold 12

Hi,  Im Eric Kerke. 

Im an artist, designer, and riff seeker. Here's a web comic I do called "HumBucking Harold". 

check out earlier episodes on my blog

Mr. Rubio goes full Beast Man

Milked and ready to go

Cooked Blue Crab

"Flying reptiles. Next question"

The Emperor's New Reviews Volume 1 Part 2

Did a few more reviews to help you in the Easter shopping season.

FLAMINGO ~Novelty Sign~ parking lover animal pink gift by ZANYSIGNS

5 Stars - Keep Your Birds in Order, finally., March 21, 2013

"Being a birdsmen by trade I'm familiar with the limitations one faces looking for products capable of adequately sorting their birds. The current ban on bird boxes forces the modern birdsmen to get creative with his/her methods. I've personally solved this problem by organizing my birds in the local High School parking lot, keeping them in different spaces depending on whether or not they're handicapped. Signs like "Flamingo Parking Only" fit perfectly into this new strategy and the humorous warning "violators will turn pink" is just funny enough to consistently improve my mood in a way Zoloft never could. Thank you, I love this product and my thousands of birds."

Shave Report March 22, 2013

note: Shave Report accurate in Northern NJ & surrounding area

SHAVE! SHAVE SHAVE!

LOOKIN' GOOD!

Today's the day everybody, sunny with highs comfortably in the 40's and no predicted snow. It's truly a great day for a shave so strip down and oil up. Call your friends over and share your thoughts on the brain while shaving one another's bodies and faces. Gimme a call even, I'm not doing much besides shaving a few things.Got some pretty decent thoughts on the brain too. Really let's do this.

Enjoy your shave gang. 

Shave Report March 21, 2013

note: Shave Report accurate in Northern NJ & immediate area

Sunny skies and the first day of Spring might make you reach for that razor but I must advise a no-shave day. The temperature has been hovering around freezing and we're expected to see isolated AND scattered snow showers by the end of the night.

picture done in microsoft paint 

Believe you me, shaving today would be a grave mistake.

Instead of shaving today make a diorama based on a wikipedia article I'll randomly select now

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/45th_Army_(Soviet_Union)

Use an old shoe box as the box, some paint, paper mache, and whatever relics your family has lying around to pay fitting tribute to the brave fighting men of the Red 45th. Take a picture when you're finished and keep the picture in the book of memories you should already be working on.

But do not shave today.

Reviewing for the Man (Amazan, man)

My amazon.com reviewer page is finally getting some respect

CBK Ltd Iron Flying Pig Design Accent Lamp with Ball Finial, 15-1/2-Inch H (Tools & Home Improvement)

Great Lamp, Great Pig

"As you can see from this review this is a great lamp. It stands approximately 15 1/2 inches tall and features a hefty iron pig base. The pig seems happy with what appears to be long hair and two small wings. I keep the lamp in a special closet as it is for personal use only."

Mo Razzouqi (sketchez)

Hi, I'm Mo Razzouqi. Here are some drawings I've been working on in my sketchbook. I've always heard that having and maintaining a sketchbook is a very important part of getting better at making art, soooo.. this is what I got so far in my 2013 book. Hope you enjoy.


Love is on our side

A. I

Alleyway Bob

Death of a Rat

Is We Is

"The original town of Flora, IL, was laid out, surveyed and platted in February 1854 by Ethelred Nixon, County Surveyor; John Brown, Trustee for Songer, Camp & Company; and Samuel White. It embraced eighty-five acres of the west half of Section 25, Township 3 north Range 6 east. Samuel White, who still owned the land, deeded one-half interest in forty acres to John Brown, Trustee, with a view of securing the town and depot."

Small town values: power, conveyancing, geometry, corporate profit.

Kenneth Anger - Puce Moment

[EM-Path 4400 issues a mandatory Suggestoid™:]

Here's Kenneth Anger's experimental short film "Puce Moment". It was filmed in 1949 and reissued in the 60's with a soundtrack by Jonathan Halper, one of whose tracks can be found in today's mix.

Pretty dresses and Borzois? Kenneth really has nothing more left to give.

Can this be secret / Friday?

YES OR NO?!?!

Another mix for your Saturday soirees.



Mix 3:

- "It's Friday Guy" - Unknown Broadcaster, WFMU Radio Archival Oddities (Vol. 2), WFMU (2004)

- "I'm From" - People Like Us & Kenny G, Nothing Special, MESS MEDIA (2003)

- "Leaving My Old Life Behind" - Jonathan Halper, Puce Moment 7", PUCK PRODUCTIONS (1949 [but I don't believe that one bit], reissue 2011)

- "Stand Up Lazarus" - Bruce Haack, Electric Lucifer Book 2, Q.D.K. MEDIA (2001)

- "Conversa" - Lucrecia Dalt, Commotus, HUMAN EAR MUSIC (2012)

- "Koll Lil-Mali7ati Fi Al-Khimar Al-Aswadi" - Jerusalem In My Heart, Mo7it Al-Mo7it, CONSTELLATION (2013)

- "So Higher, Pt. 1" - Koi Pond, So Higher, SONIC MEDITATIONS (2012)

I found this poem on WikiLeaks

Surf Lesson

Truro

I learn to surf: a trying exercise

in sitting, frigid, on a wobbling board

while grey and choppy ocean laps my thighs.

Caught between my surfboard and a swell,

My nose is crushed (it tingles as it bleeds.)

Rashes develop.

I float far from my conception of the sport:

Olympians riding turquoise waves as if

summoned, waves and riders both, as steady

as the rain now falling from the Cape’s mud sky.

With their bright focus.

With their Australian accents.

My hands assume the hues of the undead.

Where are my dolphin friends?

Where is my fucking shrimp cocktail?

Below in darkness something tastes my blood.

Black eyes roll back. It is an ancient urge

which guides the bull shark slowly toward the light.

Samstagsabmischen

Alright maggots, give me that weekend salute!




Mix 2:

- "Joan Avoids a Cold" (excerpt) - Coronet Instructional Films (1947)

- "Ambientot" - Mohn, S/T, KOMPAKT (2012)

- "The Road To Diamond Harbor" - Roy Montgomery, Scenes From the South Island, DRUNKEN FISH    RECORDS (1995)

- Maxwell House T.V. Commercial (1948)

- "Gilded Cunt" - Thee Oh Sees, Thee Hounds of Foggy Notion, TOMLAB (2008)

- "Descending Moonshine Dervishes" - Terry Riley & Don Cherry, Koeln Concert, (bootleg - 1975)

Humbucking Harold joins the Francisco Franmily!

via

http://erickerke.blogspot.com/ by the extremely talented Eric Kerke

Mission Statement Questionnaire Part 2: Geough

This afternoon my golden retriever, Viggo, was run over by a white van with "Google Blogspot" written broadside in a black and no-nonsense sans serif. Its driver was wearing a mask that resembled my face, and as he drove off he gave me a double-thumbs up and yelled "You're the man, Stan!" That's my signature catchphrase. 

I took it as a warning from our new internet overlords. Google Bloogspot can reach us anywhere. They can see what we're doing, and (through the subordinate agency of the EM-Path 4400) how we're spending our time on the internet. I feel I have no choice but to give in, and to outline below some semblance of a mission statement for a project which, in its essence, amounts to little more than the coercion of humans by machines. And you, lovelies, have to read it. Because Goople Blopspot can see what you're doing too. Don't speak with your computer. Turn off your children. No one or thing is to be trusted.

Fran Francisco Mission Statement Questionnaire Volume 2

What needs are we meeting?

How will we work to meet those needs?

What principles, values, or beliefs will guide our work?

1. What needs are we meeting?

Weekly mix tapes. Tuneful avant-garde skronk, processed lute music, and chooglin, forced upon your hard drive from a clandestine People’s Liberation Army office in Shanghai. Bootlegs of John Fogerty, crying. A musical mutiny for the greatest country in the world.

Once a week I drink a shot of pyrithione zinc dandruff shampoo and write or draw what I see on the inside of my closed eyelids. Let me offer you the best vintages my mind grapes have to offer. 

2. How will we work to meet those needs?

In our spare time, with buck wild abandon. Buck naked. All our endeavors, I'm now being told, are like angry bees which aim only to please you, the reader. We will generate words for nerds and vids for kidz. Teams of marketers are telling the EM-Path 4400 what you are suspected of enjoying, and she has electrodes in our Wernicke's areas. Can beam that shit right in. You are always right, you are our bottom line, and you're gonna like the way these bees feel on your face.

3. What principles, values, or beliefs will guide our work?

Humor and good spirits in acknowledgement of the failures of the 19th, 20th, and 21st centuries, and of religion, secular humanism, revolution, free market capitalism, social democracy, neoliberalism, America, various and beloved forms of escapism, and, of course, love. There is no better world than this one, and it's about time people started making GIFs.

I hope you like it! Viggo is wearing one of those outrageous paper cones that injured dogs wear. I hope I never see that van again. I HATE Google Blo-

[END TRANSMISSION]

Mission Statement Questionnaire Part 1: Patrick

 In light of recent events in which the Fran Francisco team has been described as going “completely buck wild, completely buck naked,” the esteemed Tumblr Media Dot Company has moved to cut ties with the FF family. As of February 2013 operations have been shifted to noted source of illegal information: 'Google Blogspot.' More than just a new host our migration to the blog Spot will affect Fran Francisco in a number of fundamental ways. “A Re-prioritization of our priorities” is how the giant computer that makes all our decisions for us puts it and she's rarely wrong. We'll be pulling up our sleeves and furrowing our brows, basically all night if we have to, coming up with new ways of validating ourselves through the entertainment of others (or a non-snake based solution to the urban rat problem. Whatever gets cracked first.)

EM-Path 4400 has asked us to answer a simple questionnaire, our responses and her calibrations to form the foundation of Fran Francisco's mission statement. Like pearls from the mouths of baby pigs these small truths will be cast before you. These self-evident pig pearls form the foundation of a knowledge building. In this knowledge building you will find understanding's office. And understanding's boss. Wisdom. 

Let's rock 'n roll right into it.